With a little man maintenance and effortless styling products, your man’s beard will seem like less of an unruly facial nuisance and more like the refined accessory of a dignified gentleman.
Let me tell you a secret about what us men think beards can do for us. We believe they give us magical powers. We can lift heavier weights, drive women crazy, become CEO of Google and rescue young children from wild animal attacks. Simply put, beards deliver confidence. And if your man is a bearded God as well, you probably see his powerful confidence grow every day.
But with great beards comes great responsibility.
Your man looks in the mirror and sees the mighty Thor, but when he leans in for a smooch, all you get is a scratchy rat’s nest. Beards, if unkempt, can be utterly disgusting.
You want it gone. But if you make him return to the mediocre life of the clean shaven, you might as well call yourself Delilahbecause losing the beard would cut your man’s strength in half. Give him a chance to manscape and clean up the lion’s mane instead. It’s a win-win for both a man and his lady.
Be Jealous of Billy
Beard Envy Beard Refining Kit was created by Billy Jealousy, a company that produces men’s grooming and shaving products for the face, hair, body and beard of the quintessential bad boy.
Among a wide selection of products online, Beard Envy is the rugged man’s beard survivalist kit. It includes beard wash, a boar bristle brush and leave-in conditioner beard control. As a proud, bearded man myself, I experimented with these three products to see just how much they could take me from rugged and scruffy to edgy and sophisticated.
Suave is certainly sufficient for a man’s hair, but for his beard, nothing but rich formulated beard wash will do.Keep in mind that beard hair is quite different from the hair on his head. Head hair is fine, smooth and flowing. Gnarly, untreated beard hair is thick, coarse and holds a stubborn shape. And we, like women, also want to control frizz and flyaways.
Beard Wash contains active ingredients like soy protein and honey extract to break down those barriers and give the beard a shine and silky smoothness conventional shampoo just couldn’t imitate. After using this wash for about a week, I noticed my beard gradually softened since day one, even attracting sweet caresses from a certain lady friend.
Boar Bristle Brush
Say that three times fast while looking in the mirror. Smile, wink and then start the grooming process. The purpose of a good brush is no different than one for the hair – to tame all the knots and tangles to achieve pure smoothness—except on a more glorious level. C’mon, this is my beard we’re talking about.
Equipped with a solid wooden handle, the Boar Bristle Brush is double-sided for two different brushing experiences. One side is soft, yet firm. The other side has sharper, wire-like bristles. Naturally I brush through my beard right after I shower. First, I use the brittle side to really wring out the knots, and then I smooth the beard with the brush’s softer side to finish the job for a tame and quite handsome look.
The final piece of the kit serves two manly purposes. It conditions the beard hair so it’s as smooth and wondrous as a unicorn’s coat and lets the beard hold a certain style and shape, from the office in the A.M. to the gym in the P.M. The bigger the beard, the more essential styling is to keep it a tame and sexy secret weapon.
Beard Control contains oil from “jojoba seed,” but the texture is hardly oily. It didn’t take more than five minutes for the conditioner to dry and leave my beard looking and feeling amazing. Even male strangers at the gym squat rack and Chipotle line felt compelled to compliment my bearded masterpiece. (Happens every day.)
Beard Envy is available at billyjealousy.com for $25. After one week, I barely put a dent in either bottle and the brush still works like brand new. In this one week, I also went from caveman to suave, urbane GQ stud. A win-win for a man and his lady, indeed.
Treat him to this kit and let him hold onto his manhood. Besides, the sight of his clean shaven face one day might actually scare you away.